Often my work with senior
citizens involves lighthearted, gentle assistance as they navigate through the
operations of Silver Key Senior Services.
Our interface involves explaining processes, giving directions, lending
an arm, pushing a cart, and kindly listening to their stories.
As I walk through my
workday, I am often pulled away because my cell phone is demanding my attention
to another senior’s plight – my older sister who is a victim of elder abuse in
another state. While I possess the
knowledge of dozens of resources available in the Pikes Peak region, I am
challenged in my efforts to speak on my sister’s behalf over 1000 miles away.
For five months, my family
has been fighting a very conniving perpetrator who has committed crimes of
financial abuse that have led to my once millionaire sister now being homeless,
without the ability to drive, medically unstable, depressed, and finally (and
most importantly) unable mentally to work against this invasion! In less than a year, her new “friend” wormed
his way into her emotions, her checkbook, control over her decisions (i.e. a
new will), alienated her from her family and friends, took medical oversight,
obtained Power of Attorney and Temporary Guardianship…all without the knowledge
of her children, her sisters, and her friends.
My story is a common one
in the world of agencies like Silver Key, Department of Human Services, Adult
Protective Services and even AARP. But
today, for me, this is personal.
Elder abuse is an
insidious crime. As I have talked with
friends and co-workers, I have heard dozens of stories where a family member
has been taken advantage of. The term
“abuse” is not always used in conjunction with our seniors being mistreated
financially or by a new friend surfacing to make mom or dad happy. We tend to understand child abuse and
domestic abuse. Elder abuse is not as
frequently identified.
Although it can be a
family member abusing the senior by knowingly obtaining money or cars, it also
can be at the hands of a caregiver. In
my sister’s situation, she befriended a man her age through her son. At first, they were enjoying each other
(although he is married). We did not
understand the direction this friendship was headed. Within a couple of months, my sister began
telling her friends and sisters that her relationship had deepened and that
this new friend was her soul mate.
Life takes curious turns
of events and mine is no exception.
While I have not always agreed with my older sister and her decisions
and choices, I have always been willing to let her live her life and follow her
own path. Today, the stress of her life
choices has created a deep abyss of psychosomatic dementia. Her mind has literally shut down to protect
her from her grief. Once she created
beautiful needlepoint works of art that are treasured by friends and
family. Today my 69 year old sister
cannot pull the threads of her memory together to create a sentence.
We go to court in October
to determine guardianship for a once vibrant, intelligent, compassionate, and
devoted member of the family. The
perpetrator has fought diligently to retain control as he stands to lose much
more than money. There is a criminal
investigation, a guardian ad litem, adult protective services, and an attorney
hired by me in opposition of the petition for permanent guardianship. Five suits, one robe, and a bad toupee (perpetrator)
will determine the future of my sister.
My sister will have no voice…her fate now in the hands of lawyers and
the courts.
As stewards of our
families and our community, it is vital that we raise awareness of this crime
against our aging population. This is a
crime that crosses all barriers – education, financial, religious and
upstanding citizens. It is our
responsibility to be tuned in and to report any instances of abuse, not just
bruises and black eyes but bullying, control, and isolation.